Scay moments

Hey girls,
so this blog is not like my normal blogs....it is a little different.

Tonight I was at my grandparents having a wonderful time! It was my brother birthday dinner, so of course he picked a yummy dinner!!!!

Anyways it was time for us to leave.....Matt and Kelli left first, I was still sitting on the couch, and just yelled goodbye(which is normal). Well as soon as mat walked out the door he fell down the three steps outside the door. I was not calm cool and collected at all, I felt like I was having a panic attack. Then by the time I could get up and walk over there Kelli (who was walking to help him) also fell. This made it worse. My heart was racing and I was shaking. Everyone else was over talking to them and trying to figure out what to do. All I could hear was Kelli crying.... I froze and couldn't do anything. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was yell for my dad to come and help them (even though everyone else was out there, I just felt like my dad needed to be there also). Anyways they are both okay, Kelli twisted her ankle but she walked away, I am sure she will be sore in the morning.....

Now the reason I am writing this blog is because I realized tonight that I have a crazy fear.......I am afraid Matt is going to die. In my mind all I see was Matt on the ground, twisted up and bleeding......(there was no blood) I was so scared, I didn't know what to do....I am sure this steams from him being sick and having a realistic opportunity for him to die, but he didn't and he is strong and he is doing WONDERFUL, But I will be 100% honest I am terrified something is going to happen to him. This is not a new feeling it just came out badly tonight, alot of that being tied in that every birthday we celebrate with his is a true blessing. I honestly do not know what to do or how to make it better, but I can't stop crying. My nerves are shot, I just want him to always be in a bubble...

He is 26 years old I need to get over it, but for some reason I can't I am just so afraid of losing him.

okay I am going to stop...

thanks for listening!

Katie