Hey girls,

so I know Sarah knows because I texted her but I wanted to rant a little. Zach and his girlfriend got engaged this morning. Now I am happy for Zach. He deserves to be in love and he seems to be really happy. However it is hard because I don't feel like she is right for him, atleast in the long run, but I am probably wrong. Its not like I have a great record with love! lol After sitting alone for a few min crying I figured out what really bothers me. I really wanted to be the next one to get married. I really want to find someone, before I lose all of the boys. I know I haven't lose them forever because we are still a close family and I see/talk to them a lot, but it is soo different when they are married. They change, and its not all bad I just don't wnat to be alone anymore.

This week has been great my weekend get away really made me feel a lot better, until today. This is the frist time I have cryed in over a week, which may not sounds like a long time but in the last month it is a world record for me. I am ready to give someone my heart. I know that, I just don't know how to find that person. I have started working out and am trying to make myself feel better about who I really am. It had worked until today. I just feel like I am not good enough. I know even if I get "less fat" it won't help. I just wish once in my life someoen would ask me out to dinner, hell I would take offering to buy me a drink at the bar or something (I guess I would have to go to the bar for that one). I just wish someone other than my family and friends would give me the time of day. I just for once wnat to be in Love. I want to have someone to talk to all the time, to watch movies with, go to dinner with, someone whose smile will make my heart skip beats. I would take it for just a day and them lose it.

I don't know I am sorry to rant on and on about this, I just am ready for something exciting/ good to happen to me!

Oh well there is always next week!

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love ya!

Katie